• Jay

Rebirth: The Path to Discovering Your New Self During Change

Updated: Apr 22, 2020

Rebirth occurs every time you embark on a new chapter in life. There will be confusion during the process of rebirth, but there is so much to learn on the path to rediscovery. It's important to not deny your emotions or mute your thoughts, do not rush the process. Understand, be patient and practice self discipline.

Here are some steps to help you adapt to change:

1. Identify the changes that have occurred in your life - how will your life be different now? Understand what is happening so you can take action.

2. Listen to what your emotions and mind are telling you, connect and own your current state of mind and emotions. Face your reality so you can tackle the obstacles you come across during the transition. Don’t listen to those who tell you to “forget” about what’s happening or what you’re feeling. What you store inside of you will ALWAYS backfire at some point in life - you don't want that. Connect, don’t disconnect, from your emotions and your thoughts. Know your new reality and adjust.

3. List new short and long term goals. A lot of our short and long term goals will no longer be applicable in the new chapter we take on, or may need to be placed on hold. In the meantime, set new goals for yourself and allow your brain to envision them coming to life. Each time something from the past pops up in your mind that is no longer relevant to your present life, replace it with the new goals that you’ve set for yourself. Write your new goals out and make it a habit to read them outloud every night before going to bed - that's probably when you'll need them the most.

4. Understand it takes time. Each time we enter a new chapter, no matter how little or large that change may be, adapting to it takes time. You need to understand that. Don't rush a certain outcome, adjusting takes time. Allow yourself to live through the transitional phase for as long as it takes.

5. Revisit the question, "who am I?" In that you will identify the changes or recognize what’s happening differently in your personality, thoughts and emotions. Find the purpose behind that change and how you can become a better person from it. That will help you rediscover your new self. Events in our lives happen with a purpose. Don’t ever forget that. You will look at life with a bird's-eye view. You'll soon discover a change in behavior, way of thinking, emotions and reaction toward things happening around you. Most importantly, you will discover growth.

6. Practice self discipline. When a memory or thought comes to mind that triggers your emotions in an unpleasant way, stop it and replace it with something that makes you happy. After doing it for a certain amount of times, you will obtain greater power over your thoughts, which will give you power over you emotions. When we realize that our emotions are a result of our thoughts, it’ll help us understand why we feel a certain way as we exit old chapters in life and enter new ones. Everything we feel in the process is a result of what we allow our minds to think about.

7. Identify the overall lesson: we all come out of each chapter with a lesson. Here’s mine: My volunerbility is my strength. I feed off my emotions toward things. The more I feel, the stronger my delivery will be. That is the power my vulnerability gives me. That is my newly discovered power - the ability to connect with people from all walks of life on an emotional, deeper level. That’s what I learned from my previous chapter. That what I always viewed as something that makes me weak, my volunerbility, is actually what makes me a strong individual. It gives me the power deal with my emotions head-on. I use each experience in life to try and impact the life of another human being. I've found a purpose. 8. Lastly, know that the old saying we grew up hearing, 'everything happens for a reason,' is in fact true. Each chapter in your life is written for you to accomplish a particular goal - the experience, the time, the change. Once you understand that and accept that it’s FOR you, you will be more welcoming toward the changes that come your way. Your experience is your wisdom in life. Each chapter is a lesson. Your life is a book that you're writing, make it one that you’ll be proud to pass down. Don’t ever forget that you hold the pen to each chapter. Life is a never ending educational journey; learn, grow, connect and adjust.You do not have control over all (if any) of the events that occur in your life, but the ending to each chapter is yours to write, now read that again and store it in your memory!

Why is the above important? For your future. You want, and need, to enter each chapter of your life with a clean slate. Outline what you’ve learned prior to moving forward. Don’t fake it or look for something to take you away from reality. Don't compare lives, trust me when I say everyone goes through changes, though at different times, it happens to all of us. Face your new reality, embrace it, learn what your past experience was meant to teach you then choose to move forward. There's no rush in crossing the finish line when it comes to discovering your new self, but the sooner you start the process, the sooner you will get there.

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